What was I so afraid of?

Waking up this morning I was a little skeptical about going to walk up this mountain. It was something I’ve never done before; and a month ago I would’ve never pictured myself doing such a thing! Why? Because I’m extremely afraid of heights! I don’t do high rises, or roller coasters, or mountains…so I thought. The second we reached that incline…whew those fears started to creep in! I really wanted to turn back around, but as soon as I peered over my shoulder I realized exactly how high up I was. At that point there was no turning back I had to keep pushing forward. After slowly easing up the side of the mountain (all the while shaking on the inside), I eventually made it to the top. Just over that hill was the most beautiful sea of green forest that I had ever seen! I wasn’t even afraid anymore. I was actually thinking, “wait, is this it?” For some reason I was expecting there to be a steep decline or some life threatening drop, but there wasn’t. All that time I spent worrying and for nothing! What was I so afraid of?
At the top of the mountain!
Truthfully there was really nothing to be afraid of; I just psyched myself out in the beginning by thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong. The good news is  none of the crazy events I created in my mind happened! However, I will say I had some minor slips and falls along the way, but  family and friends were there to help me out.  Even with the little mishaps, I’m so happy that I decided to continue walking the rest of the trail, because if I would’ve turned back around I never would’ve seen all the beautiful gems hidden alongside this mountain.


Snapped some shots along the way!


Photo Op! 🙂

After today’s trail I had to sit down and really think about all my other fears. My question to myself was what are my fears and are they truly worth fearing? I actually made a list of things that have incited fear in me in both the past and the present; and to be honest most of the things on that list are kind of ridiculous. Just like this morning on the mountain, I thought to myself, “Is this is it?” Why do these fears even exist?  Looking back at things that have scared me in the past, it was never during or after the event that I feared. It was always before a particular event that I was afraid. My fears stemmed from imagining the worst possible scenario. The longer I had to think about it, the more fear I would feel creeping up inside of me. These fears weren’t coming from a place of faith, but from a place of anxiety and worry. As much as I hate to admit it, when I fear I show my doubt that God is truly in control of my life. In as much time as I spend fearing I could and should be praying.

It takes a lot to just release your fears to God…it’s something I still struggle with. However, I have found that it helps by meditating on His Word and praying incessantly. There are SO MANY times in the bible that the Lord tells us not to have fear, or anxiety, or to worry. Some of my favorite verses that have helped me along the way are:

  • Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my Righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
  • When I’m afraid I put my trust in You. (Psalms 56:3)
  • For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.(2 Timothy 1:7)
  • Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
  • The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? ( Psalm 27:1)


And lastly…


“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you not as the world gives t you do I give to you. Do not let  your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – Jesus
Fear is not something that Jesus wants us to live with. In fact in order for Him to best use us we must be willing to press forward despite fears. Just as the mountain this morning was not as scary as my own thoughts made it out to be; a lot of other fears are the same way. They seem intimidating at first but once you face them it’s like you’re overtaken by a wave of relief and freedom. After you face it one time that fear no longer has control over you because you know it’s not as scary as it seems. In best case scenario you may even be like me and thinking to yourself, “When’s the next time I’m going to climb this mountain again?” After today I now look at it like this…when I allow fear to control me I may be missing out on a very beautiful opportunity.
 In writing this I hope I will inspire at least one person to face his or her fears…much love! 🙂


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